Review Your Current Friends

If you are wanting to see more happiness and success in your life, I strongly suggest you review your life. In this current instance reviewing your current friends is something that will help you level up and I’ll tell you why. The word “friend” is commonly overused, friendship is a powerful and special thing to have in our lives, it must not be taken for granted and not everyone deserves that title. I am almost certain (as we all do it) that we have “friends” that are more along the lines of let’s say fancy acquaintances. So, review all the people in your life that you deem as friends, and see how they fit into your life. This doesn’t make you entitled, a b**** or judgemental, it makes you self-aware, confident and protective of your energy. So, don’t be afraid to trial and error. Just because you made someone a friend a while back doesn’t mean they are part of your entire life journey. Friendship isn’t a life sentence and both you and them are entitled to grow out of the relationship. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Remember some people are only meant to be in your life for a chapter not the whole book and that is something you need to learn to accept. Intentionally reframing your mindset to accept something rather than having an expectation will honestly help you live a more peaceful life.

So, make sure you pick them out carefully and be patient with the process. I found my “powerful” support network at 23 and honestly, they were worth the wait. Of course, this will continue to grow and as women we need to have faith in ourselves that we can create the most powerful and empowering support network for ourselves. Now ladies this is important, you will only be able to do this if you make a conscious effort to… 

Know your own values & toxic traits

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, self-awareness really is a key factor in everything you do including relationship setting and this is because you attract what you are. I never used to understand this saying before however since becoming self-aware I have seen a huge shift in the relationships I attract. Even in your friendships you want people in your life who are like-minded and have some similar values to you. 

I recommend reading Jay Shetty’s book ‘think like a monk’ as he has some great mental practices aimed at getting you to increase awareness on your values. He mentions doing a self-audit, which helps you determine the values you have in your life by default. Next, he says you should decide whether these default values are aligned with the future you want and the choices you want to make. We all have a set of default values and it is up to us to determine both our higher and lower values. The reason being is, your higher values are values that will help you progress forward, increase your energy and elevate your mindset. Your lower values however, are values that are not serving you well and lead to anxiety and depression. 

By knowing who we are and what we stand for will allow us to know what type of relationships we want in our life. This part of your life is called finding yourself, by knowing what you have been socially taught and what values you have by default we can start to reframe and choose what values we want to stick with for a future we want to create. We are all an accumulation of our experiences and sometimes we can react to certain triggers that don’t allow us to come from a place of logic but instead come from a place of emotions. Our past can cloud our judgments and our unhealed inner child wounds can show up in all of our relationships especially friendships. So, if we don’t intentionally try and learn our values, triggers and wounds we won’t be able to create or maintain a healthy support network.

set Boundaries That Feel Right

This ties in nicely with the above point. Once you know your values, what your triggers are, and have an overall good sense of self-awareness and confidence in who you are this will allow you set boundaries in your life almost on autopilot as you know what you are and are not willing to accept. I feel like I must make one thing clear, setting boundaries should feel effortless and definitely not forced. Learn to listen to what your gut is telling you. If someone in your life has shown you time and time again that they do not care about your boundaries then they do not deserve to be in your support network. If you are feeling unsure on this then give the “review your current friends” section another once over. 

Remember boundaries are not just for people in your life, they are also for you. Be selective to who you share things with. We are all human and sometimes we tend to forget this, we don’t always have to have everything together. Allow yourself to be human and set a boundary for yourself that you will accept help and enjoy sharing life with others especially those in your support network.

I’m going to leave this post there but before I go, I want to say that it’s okay if you are feeling like you don’t have a support network at the moment, I’ve been there, so learn from the mistakes I made. Don’t go looking! Focus your time and energy on you, understanding yourself more, self-soothing your triggers, healing from inner child wounds, learning your values and doing more of the little things you love. Do this, then the support network will come naturally, everything really is better when it happens organically.

Oh, and one last thing… the only person you will truly experience life with is yourself so make it a beautiful life!